Odes To The Man Sitting Across From Me At The Wedding Reception, In Haiku

The Thing You Said Half An Hour In
"Hey, when this lets out
Let's go to a titty bar
I love titty bars"

On Your Personal Artistic Statement
You have a tattoo
Of a gigantic panther
'Cross your shoulderblades

Upon Noting Your Own Dancing Method
At wedding parties
Dry-humping on the dance floor
Makes you a sleazebag.