They have been coming to me, friends, relentlessly. In dreams, while walking, during movies, I am powerless against their onslaught. I am under attack by ways to make myself rich.
Are you skeptical? Of course you are, look at that face you’re making, you think I’m skipping my Paint-Huffers Anonymous meeting to write this. Well, in the interest of disclosure, maybe I’ve been dipping into the Ecru, but no more than a thumb-and-forefingers’ worth, I assure you, just to get the cognitive juices loosened. Seriously.
So somebody already did the letter-shapes-cereal, I guess? That’s fine with me, because this shit is like centuries ahead of that. Is that how you measure that sort of thing? In centuries? Look, we just find out how they make the letters, do A through G, and throw in some sharps and flats. BAM! Musical Cereal! Every spoonful is, like. Is a chord. Maybe we could include something that tells you what the bowl you just ate sounded like? I don’t know, it could be a robot that we could put in the box. But only put in cute ones. I’ve seen enough of those movies to know that the ugly robots all secretly have eye-saws and coded vendettas. Give 'em, I don't know, a little hat.
It was going to be good, though, I had this idea where I’d take extra cereal from the other cereal companies, if they had too much of ‘em, and just mix it in one box and make it seem like an adventure. The mascot was going to be a big hobo, maybe 15 or 16 feet tall. Maybe I should have kept that one to myself, this is sounding pretty embarrassing now.
You know how sometimes you're dicking a woman and suddenly she gives you some boundaries spiel? Like, I don’t know, suddenly the cock ring isn't taut enough for her, and there’s all this bitching about the sling even though you already tested it like six times? Anyway, I hate that, so I got this idea that involves a box of mints. If you are with a lady who is very religious or is a national figure or is maybe married to your brother, and you know in advance there are going to be some “lines in the sand,” you just pop one of these mints instead of doing that thing. The trick is that the mints are supposed to taste really good so that you don’t mind. I think this is a good idea for younger people, but I will probably replace the mints with something stronger. (Maybe the box is still a good idea??) I think I am a little depressed about this whole thing now and I am going to think more about my other ideas for a little while. Good night Internet.